"He is the rock, His ways are perfect; for all His ways are justice; a God of truth and without injustice, righteous and upright is He." Deuteronomy 32:4
"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him." 2 Samuel 22:31
"As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"
Romans 3:10
"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Romans 3:22-24

This post is going to be a little different than the posts I usually write in this series, but it is something I want to share with you.

One thing that you should understand about me is that I get into "modes". I will get wrapped up in one thing or another, and for a season, I will really put my focus on that- and then that season will be over, and I will be done for a while. Sewing is one of those "seasons" that come and go. After Halloween, and after pulling out the trusty sewing machine to sew some costumes, I decided to pull out a few old projects that I had started at one time and never completed. One of these projects is a quilt for a good friend from back when I only had one child and an overwhelming desire to be a quilter. Then I had my second child and basically the next five years disappeared, while this quilt top languished in my craft room. This dear friend, who knew about the quilt, finally stopped asking about it, but it has always been there on that tucked-away "to-do" list we all have that we know will take a lifetime to complete. I found the quilt while rummaging through my craft room for something else, and decided that it really needed to be completed. So, I brought it upstairs, laid it out, and got to work.

And laughed.

Why? Well, simply because this quilt reminded me of a young me. I started this quilt when I was pretty newly married, a relatively new mom, and I had only just learned how to sew the year before (and I, of course, thought that I was ready for quilting! Ah, how naive we are when we are young!). Almost five years have passed since then. Five years. A lot has changed in five years! On a shallow level, I have learned a lot more about sewing since I started that quilt, and that is what made me laugh- this poor quilt, while beautiful to look at, is such a mess of inexpertly-sewn seams, edges, and corners. Back then, as a new "seamstress" (and I use that term VERY loosely), I thought that I was pretty clever and I didn't NEED all those steps that the books said I needed. Seam allowance? Don't make me laugh. Ironing? Hah. (Ok, I admit it- I'm still like that!). No need for all that, it just takes time. This is good enough.
But tonight, while I was ironing this quilt, I was smiling about how pitiful it was. I am relatively certain that, if she ever sticks this quilt in the washing machine, it will completely fall apart! It is anything but perfect, honestly, but there is not a lot I can do about it at this point- I should have just done it correctly to begin with. I can try to disguise some of the worst flaws, go back over some of them, but it will never be perfect.

Part of me wonders why I should even bother finishing it. You see, the friend that this quilt is for is the person who taught me how to sew in the first place- so I KNOW that she will see all of those imperfections. Her perfect eye for details will catch all of those mistakes and shortcuts. She will KNOW. But the thing about this friend is that, while she sees those imperfections, she knows ME. She knows how young and inexperienced I was when I started that quilt. She knows how busy life got after I started it. She knows quite a lot about me, actually, because she met me as I was just starting out on my adult life- new wife, expectant mom- and has mentored me through all of those stages, and the stages that have come since then. She has taught me quite a lot about life, and womanhood and motherhood, and (of course), sewing. She has taught me lots of other stuff as well.

As the leader of a Bible study I was in from about the time I started the quilt until last spring, she has taught me a lot about God-  and most of it has been through example. One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that perfection can NEVER be attained this side of heaven, no matter how much we pretend. Never. It's impossible. As moms, as women, and as Christians, we seem to have this deep-rooted desire to make everyone around us think that we have things under control. Our families are great, we are perfectly happy, nothing goes badly- or, if it does, we handle it with great aplomb. Nothing ruffles our feathers or messes up our hair. We are perfect. No struggles, no fears, no mistakes. That's what we want everyone to believe. But it is a lie. We are lying to everyone else, and we are lying to ourselves.

Another lie is that we think that other women have everything completely under control- that THEIR lives are perfect, that their kids are perfect, that nothing ever goes wrong for them. "Oh, it is easy for HER to be joyful... she doesn't have to deal with (insert problem here)." It's a LIE. Satan tells us these lies because he LIKES when we feel badly about ourselves. We don't measure up. We can't do anything right. This bad day makes you a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad Christian. It's a lie.
"He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44

Another lie? That we can't measure up in God's eyes. SHOULD we measure up in God's eyes? No, I don't think so- we are sinful and He is perfect, and our sin separates us from God. We are nothing before His holiness. But DO we measure up? Absolutely- because He has made a way, through Jesus's death on the cross, to bring us back to Him, to redeem us from our sins, our mistakes, and our guilt. And He loves us, warts and all- bad days, mistakes, sin- He loves us. But Satan tells us, "Why would God love you? HOW could God love you? You can't measure up to His standards, and He will never forgive you for (insert sin here). You have to be perfect, and you aren't perfect, so don't bother- God won't care about you." LIES!!! Lies.
Even before God created us, He knew what would happen- He knew that Eve would eat that fruit, that the Israelites would choose idols over Him again and again, that His people would crucify His Son on a cross, that I would choose to sin daily- He knew all of that. But He did it all anyways. ALL of it. Creation. Redemption. His Son. All of it. He knew, but He loved us enough, before we were ever even created, to make a way to redeem us and make us perfect. It was worth it to Him. We were worth it to Him. I was worth it to Him.

The remarkable thing about salvation is that there IS no other way to Him- and He has given us this way to Him, freely. And His way is the perfect way, and His way MAKES us perfect. Do you know what the Bible says about sin after we have been forgiven by our Father? That He remembers it no more. NO MORE. It is gone, wiped away, and is completely forgotten. We are new, perfect creatures before Him. Perfect. PERFECT. Yes, even you. Even me.
"Then He adds: 'Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.'" Hebrews 10:17
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
""God is my strength and my power, and He makes my way perfect." 2 Samuel 22:33

I don't know about you, but I remember my sins. I carry guilt around with me about so much. I still shed tears about the one and only time I ever told my daughter to shut up (which I asked forgiveness for from her, even though she was very young, and she freely gave it). I still shudder to think about things I have done, mistakes I have made, that I can't forgive myself for. I think that we can be harder on ourselves that God is on us. Maybe that is because we don't love ourselves the way He loves us. Maybe that is because we can't see ourselves the way He sees us. What if we could? What would life look like then? If we could see ourselves as beloved and perfect, as daughters of God who are glorious in His sight, maybe we would stop being so hard on ourselves and everyone else.

This friend of mine, especially in recent years, has really opened my eyes to this issue of perfectionism and the need to measure up in everyone's eyes, and our failure to do so in our own. She has been such a wonderful example to me, and this has taught me so much about the personality of God- His love for us, and His grace that covers our imperfections and wipes them away completely.

Like my quilt, I am not perfect. I started it five years ago, when I was just starting out on so many journeys- motherhood, marriage, "domestic diva-ness"- and was not very far along in my Christian walk. I have come a long away in all of those areas, but have so far to go- and I will never "get there", this side of heaven. Do I give up? No way. I will run the race set out before me ("Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..." Heb. 12:1-2a). But I know that I will stumble, that I will fall, that I will cry, that I will bleed... that I will want to give up. That I will feel like things are not worth doing because I can't do them perfectly. But, as my friend so often says to me, "There's grace for that."

She will look at my quilt, and while the imperfections will be visible, I don't think she'll see them. I think that she will just see the journey it has been, and the love that has gone into it, and the lessons I have learned- and the sacrifices that have been made to get to this point- and she will accept it, just as it is, and will treasure it anyways, as if it was perfect (even if it can't go in the washing machine!). And what better example of Christ's love could there be than that?

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5

Thank you, my friend, for all you have taught me. Your quilt should be done by Christmas. (And if either of her daughters are reading this, do NOT tell your mom! It's a surprise! ;) )